How to deal with a terrifying diagnosis

Two years ago, Joelle Kaufman planned a double preventive mastectomy after she was a witness to the treatment of breast cancer. But the day before the procedure she received a shocking phone from her doctor: a routine screening was revealed by a malicious tumor.

“I thought two thousand things,” said Kaufman, executive trainer and author of “Crushing the Cancer Curveball”.

She couldn’t create a coherent thought out: What should I do now?

The diagnosis of a earnest illness can be overwhelming, regardless of whether it happens with you or someone you love. So I asked Kaufman and other experts about what to do immediately after hearing bad news – in the coming weeks.

Focus now.

Everyone reacts differently to disturbing diagnosis; There is no good or bad way to feel, said Stephanie Alonso, an outpatient oncological social worker at Uchicago Medicine.

Do not feel the pressure to be positive or be a “warrior,” said Kaufman.

Instead, remember that you do not have to make every decision at the same time, said Alison Snow, senior oncology social labor director at Mount Sinai in Up-to-date York. Ask yourself: what do I have to go for the next hour? What do I need to go through this day?

Saving thoughts can be therapeutic “and stop them from a spiral,” said Dr. Snow.

If you are treated in a hospital, ask if they have a social worker on a staff who can share resources that will lend a hand you deal with emotional, financial and logistics needs that may appear, said Alonso.

Decide who to say and how.

“Ask yourself:” Who is needed and who could say later? “-said Alonso. She added that when the message could not be withdrawn. “Many times I hear people say,” I told all these people. And now I am just flooded with people who answer me. “

If you announce your disease to a group, Kaufman recommended exploit CareingbridgeFree health platform non -profit that helps communicate updates and simplify care coordination. “Extending the same speaking over and over is real,” she explained.

If you publish a group’s announcement, Kaufman added, determine what you need – and what not. She said that some people with whom Kaufman shared the diagnosis wanted to lend a hand, but had no idea what to do, so she issued requests such as dropping meals or bringing her to meetings.

As for what Kaufman did not want: pity, links to random articles or stories about the cancers of other people, “like aunt of a person who had cancer 30 years ago.”

When you’re ready, start studying.

Someone who hears the diagnosis for the first time will probably feel “frozen”, said Susan Angídanos, professor of gerontology at the University of Southern California Leonard Davis School of Gerontology. But as soon as you can, she said, study your condition.

And get your information from renowned sources, not feverishly searching for network, which can cause disinformation, said Dr. Engídanos. Recommends using resources with Mayo Clinic Health Library or from medical organizations such as the American Heart Association. She said that you can also ask your suppliers for the sources they exploit.

Then make a list of questions for a doctor and put them on priority, she said: “Because unfortunately many doctors are reserved in 20-minute machines.”

Dr. Engeídanos said that for the next visit, whether with the same doctor or with a specialist, ask if you can record a session with the phone. “Then you can listen to when you are not in crisis,” she added.

All experts claimed that they received a second opinion. Dr. Engídanos said that you will make an appointment as soon as possible or try several doctors, because some can be fully reserved for several months. She said that not all insurance companies would cover the second opinion, so contact yours.

Consider leaning on Buddha groups or programs.

Dr. Snow said that a conversation with a person who had a similar diagnosis could be helpful. Ask your doctor to recommend a support group or Buddy program for people with your state. For example, he recommends a free non -profit organization Imerman Angelswhich provides one -on -one mentoring for patients with cancer and their guardians.

If your state has a national association, consult its website for support groups that can be offered in person or online. . Better Breathers clubThe American Lung Association program connects people with lung diseases; . Parkinson’s Buddy Network This is a free internet platform from the Michael J. Fox Foundation, which offers connection methods, both on one and in groups.

Alonso said that you do not postpone if you do not click with the first group you are trying. Sometimes finding one that seems right.

Kaufman, who is now free of cancer, has found diminutive ways for sanguine throughout the treatment: every Wednesday, when she had chemotherapy, she put people in a schedule. She would ask another friend to take her to her meetings every week, so that she could take a 20 -minute visit while driving. One of her sons would make her Organizing the mood A list of playback, another would write her an inspiring letter, and a friend would write a joke to her.

The engineering of these weekly pockets of happiness “was something that I could control in a situation that seemed outside of control,” she said. “It was a way to be tender towards yourself.”

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