There are bad therapists. Here’s how to deal with them.

During the first session with a up-to-date therapist in San Diego, Elise, 37 years elderly, she immediately felt turned off. Not because of anything that the therapist said, but because of the fact that during their conversation she rode a stationary bike.

35 -year -old Maria Danna was concerned when her therapist in Portland, Ore. “He shook Maraca to my face vigorously” to “receive the energy I gave during the session.”

And Carson, who sought the facilitate of a psychiatrist in Ohio for earnest depression and postpartum anxiety, felt disturbing when the doctor sent thousands of text messages and eventually revealed his sexual feelings for her.

Therapy is transforming for many people, regardless of whether they have a mental illness. But what do you do if your therapist is unprofessional, inept and even insults?

Last year, Recent York Times asked readers if they ever had bad experience with a therapist, and we received over 2,700 answers.

Among them were examples of ethical violations, unprofessional behavior and interactions, which were simply strange. (Some readers who shared their stories asked that they were only called their names to protect their privacy).

It is challenging to know how often such incidents occur. No federal agency regulates psychotherapy. And although the State License Committees should pull the therapists to be responsible, The process can be defectiveand is High bar for disciplinary action

“I was in the process of explaining that I felt imperceptible in my family,” wrote 71 -year -old Melissa Petty from an incident that took place over ten years ago in Dallas. “I looked up and the therapist was sleeping! I immediately found a up-to-date therapist. “

“There is a bit of a joke in this field that each cohort of graduates has at least one to two students, about whom everyone else has earnest doubts or fears,” said Eric Jones, a therapist at Santa Ana, California. “We are obliged ethically obliged to direct goals from bad licenses, but this is not an ideal system. I slowed down or reported a few for problematic behavior. “

During the experience of Dr. Jones, good therapists far outweigh the bad, he and other experts call patients in the trust of the intestine if something seems.

Dr Jonathan E. Alpert, chairman of the Psychiatry Department at Montefiore Einstein in Recent York, claims that the “northern star” of the therapist should be the health of the patient or client and continuous development. If this is not the case, he added, “something is wrong.”

When the therapist is too close

Therapists should maintain physical and emotional boundaries with clients. Violation of these boundaries may look like regular disclosure of intimate personal data; improper client touching; flirting; Offering gifts; or an attempt to establish social relations outside the office.

If the therapist disregards professional boundaries and you are not sure what to do, one place to find support is Line line to use therapyOr say, a peer support network that helps those who have been hurt by therapists or concerned about the behavior of their therapist.

Deborah A. Lott volunteers in Tell, offering tips that she would appreciate 28 years elderly at that time and had sex with her therapist, who, as she said, offered her wine and marijuana. He begged her to return to therapy. She temporarily did it before she finally cut off the contact.

“When you are emotionally dependent, it is very challenging to get out, even if you know that things do not go well,” Lott said. “This person has all your secrets. You have invested time, money, energy. And they tell you that this is your problem. There is a lot of gas lighting. “

Now he knows that an ethical therapist would never have sexual or emotional affair with the patient.

“The patient may be naked and begged for sex,” said Jan Wohlberg, the founder of Tell, and “yes Always The therapist’s responsibility for setting up and maintaining secure and therapeutic boundaries. “

When the therapist abandons professionalism

Many readers who wrote in the description of therapists who were chronically delayed, ate during the session, did not inform them about the fees agreed at the meetings or their ghosts. And over 130 people said that their therapist fell asleep during therapy – sometimes it goes so far that he began to drool or snore.

“I was in the process of explaining that I felt imperceptible in my family,” wrote 71 -year -old Melissa Petty from an incident that took place over ten years ago in Dallas. “I looked up and the therapist was sleeping! I immediately found a up-to-date therapist. “

Some readers shared stories about therapists who provided unnecessary services or fashionable treatments that they did not seem qualified.

The 30 -year -old Erin, who lives in Recent York, said she was surprised when her therapist instructed her to watch the lights throw on a narrow tube.

It is a type of stimulation used during desensitization and therapy of eye processing or eMDR, treatment that aims to reduce the suffering surrounding traumatic memories.

But Erin was in the treatment of anxiety associated with Pandemia, not an injury.

The therapist asked many times: “Does it work?” Erin remembered while their zoom was still cutting out. “It was a wild experience.”

When the therapist cannot worry

44 -year -old Leah Odette lives in Long Beach, California, visited a up-to-date therapist to get facilitate in anxiety and was unexpectedly welcomed by a dog. For some customers, a pet may be welcome, but not for Mrs. Odette.

She explained to her therapist that she was very afraid of dogs, but Mrs. Odette said that her fears were quickly rejected. “I pretended to placid down and reached to stroke him, but it broke me,” she said. “The therapist blamed my anxiety for the dog’s reaction.”

Other readers said that their therapists either did not seem to listen at all, or they had nothing helpful to say about the experiences they divided.

“During my last session, the therapist literally just looked out the window, not making eye contact with me through the whole session,” said 34 -year -old Emily, who lives in Pittsburgh. “That evening I finished our relationship by e -mail.”

When you are disappointed with the therapist

If something unnecessary has happened or your therapist is simply not suitable, it is critical to find someone up-to-date – it will not benefit a situation that is neither hearty nor productive, said Jessica M. Smedley, a clinical psychologist in Washington, DC

And if you feel that the ethical border has been crossed, you can Report your therapist for your license council.

However, there are some situations that may not be so black and white. Say that you usually feel secure and supported by your therapist, but there is one thing that still torments you: she once fell asleep during the session. In this case, you can try to talk about your fears.

Then pay attention to how he or she responds.

“The therapist who reacts to it defensively or is unable to accept this feedback and changes, is a therapist with whom someone should not continue working,” said Dr. Alpert.