As I found out that the problem in my marriage was me

That we could see him, he remains surprising, just like the fact that I can now to watch It’s ahead of me. At the beginning of last year, Jess got e -mail from another therapist who said that Real would provide couples of inexpensive therapy if he agreed to perform sessions on the zoom, in front of the audience of therapists, recorded for his training library. Despite some fears, we volunteered, giving up confidentiality.

It was an offer that we didn’t feel that we had a luxury to refuse. After so many years and such a solemn effort we had a good marriage, on balance, but not always good. Our relationship was men’sity of species. Sometimes we were like Alva and Annie in “Anna Hall” by Woody Allen, witty and sophisticated, but not able to reach the emotional abyss between us. At best, we were a comedy of Judd Apatow: sullied, stupid, solemn and full of attachment to each other. In the worst case, we were a cool independent film about two people in a distance and allegations.

I didn’t think too deeply about Real when he first crept into our lives around 2020. Jess read his book “The Fresh Rules of Monday”, and then “US: He came next to you and I to build a more loving relationship”, “ And he pushed him with a real urgent need. His earthly spoke to her, as did his belief that we have the right to expect from our partners much more than just reliability and empathy. We should want and demand a deep connection and honesty. I also suspect that he confirmed her feeling that in the great book of our marriage I was a balance of the problem. For Jess, I am, in the worst, too bad, too withdrawn, too talking about compact things and too unreasonable about gigantic ones. Real is known for his skills in dealing with men who cope with anger and withdrawal.

I look restless in the materials from this first session. I will break my hair and Smosh chin in my hand. I always look up and outside the screen, as if what is happening before me was a bit too much to face. I remember discomfort at the moment how he really pulled me out. I also know, looking back what awaits me: he establishes a place of crime for which I will have to take responsibility. I am now aware of Jess’s uncomfortable smile, which I didn’t see when we sat side by side. It is more private than me, less practiced in performing suffering for the audience and is very aware of the therapists watching us. We are there because Jess wanted to assist real more than she was afraid of public susceptibility, but it is hard for her.

At the end of the Real session, it gives me a verdict.

“It’s a T-shirt you wear in marriage,” he says. “” No matter what I do, it’s never enough for you. ” I wore it, he says, because before I met Jess and if I don’t look at myself and don’t start to work, I will die with it.