Hospice employees share advice from their patients

What if you knew you were at the end of your life? Would you do something different? My friend will volunteer to the hospice and hear how someone regrets from patients: allowing the relationship to be tilted. They would like them to make more plans with good friends or think about contacting an antique friend and spoke from it.

Over the past few years I have tried to prioritize my friendships, but after hearing her words I make more effort. I send a stupid SMS. I invite friends for dinner. I will focus this inner voice, which says: “They are probably too busy to spend their free time.” I don’t want any regrets.

Dr. Vicki Jackson, president of the American Academy of Hospice and Paliative Medicine Board, said that for the same reason he does not hesitate to tell people that she loves them.

“I’m not Pollyanna; I am a great academic, “said Dr. Jackson, who has been treating dying patients for a quarter of a century. “But I tell people that I appreciate them very much. I have a lot of gratitude because I know it’s stupid luck, it’s not me in this bed. And I know it may be tomorrow. “

I asked Dr. Jackson and other palliative care experts and hospice about what they learned from patients. They provided advice that you can apply for your life, from those at the end of them.

Find joy in the usual.

Suzanne B. O’Brien, a former hospice nurse and the author of “The Good Death: A Guide for Supporting a loved one through the end of his life,” she told me that many dying patients look with longing at more mundane parts of their routine, such as walking dogs or walking Making pancakes on Saturday morning.

O’Brien added that an simple way to remember about these everyday moments is to try to change your perspective: “Instead of saying to yourself:” I ” To have Go to the gym: “I will say:” I Get Go to the gym, ”O’Brien said. “I stopped saying:” Oh, me To have To go to the grocery store “and say:” I Get Go to the grocery store. “

Don’t worry about diminutive things.

Dr. Jackson does not make sense not to suffocate for slight frustrations. If someone cuts off her in motion, she asks himself: “Do I really want to spend these 15 minutes of my life, giving it to this guy?”

The answer is inevitably not.

In the emergency of her patients, everyday life was found from a perspective. “This is a random telephone conversation, which you will receive on Tuesday afternoon that it was in a car accident or they were diagnosed with cancer,” she said. “These are things that our worlds sway.”

Think about what you left unresolved.

Dr. Bethany Snider, Medical Director of Hosparus Health, who provides Non -Profit Hospice in Kentucky and Indian, told me that she often asks patients: “What did you leave?”

She said that this question may also apply to your life. Maybe there is a relationship that you always wanted to fix, or something you always wanted to do or see.

“I had a 17-year-old who was dying of advanced liver cancer,” said Dr. Snider. “She wanted to see whales before death, and we could do it.”

If you have a wish that is within your reach, she said, go. “Tomorrow is not promised to any of us,” said Dr. Snider.

Dr. Jackson said it is critical to have goals in life, regardless of the size. She told me that she would never forget a patient who was very diseased and at the end of her life decided to get drunk “Breaking Bad”.

“She said,” I don’t want to die until I see the end of “Breaking Bad” – said Dr. Jackson. “She went through all this.”

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